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Category: Words

Supporting A Friend After An Accident

One of the most difficult things that anyone can go through, is seeing a friend – a close friend – at a loss. After an accident, the shock can make it hard for your friend to tell you what they need. It’s okay, though, because you should already know your friend enough to step up and take control where they can’t. An accident is shocking. It’s hard to know what move to make first, but don’t panic. Below, we’ve got some of the best ways that you can confidently be there for a friend after they go through the horror of an accident.

Keep Them Mobile.

Depending on the severity of their injuries, you need to keep them mobile. This doesn’t necessarily need to get them on their feet, but it does mean getting them to and from appointments. This means taking them to the doctor for their follow-up appointments after their injuries, to the supermarket to get their essentials, and even to The Law Offices of Emroch & Kilduff, LLP so that they can discuss any injury claims after their accident. Your friend needs the extra ear to listen to their trauma, talk them through things that aren’t even related to their accident and to provide humour and support post-accident.

Important Documentation

As well as travelling to appointments and being a listening ear, your friend may be too injured, too shocked or just too traumatised to cope with the paperwork and keep on track of their documents. Insurance needs to be dealt with, healthcare documents need to be dealt with and helping them to put together a document folder could be a huge weight off their shoulders. Organisation at a time where they are not able to be organised for themselves can make a huge difference in their recovery.

Logical Steps.

When your friend has gone through such a trauma, it’s hard for them to think straight about what should be next in life. Remind them about their appointments and their insurance. Remind them to talk to their employer about going to work – or not, as the case may be. Provide them with steps to take to get life back to as normal as possible.

Bring Food!

No one wants to cope with the basics of cooking and taking care of themselves when they have had an accident. Life doesn’t stop, but their life has, even for a while. Batch cook some meals or pay for takeout for a few days; you need to help them to eliminate the simple stuff so that they can focus on the harder things. A meal doesn’t just keep them happy and fed, it means that you really do care about their recovery.

Caring for a friend after an accident isn’t easy, but you need to be there for them to lean on as much as possible. They’ve gone through the trauma, and they need you now more than ever. Let them lean and let them use your listening ear. The kindness you show now will matter more than ever before.

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A Strong Sense Of Self: Getting Back To Loving Your Free Time More

It can be easy to get swept up in your work and family life; before you know it, you’re stuck in a routine, and any free time you find, is used to relax. If you’re in the midst of a hectic lifestyle, you might think that the last thing you want to do is more activities. However, a hobby or a pastime that you enjoy is the perfect way to blow off some steam, alleviate some stress, and refocus your mind for an hour or so on a regular basis. And, what better hobby to take up than something you enjoyed when you were younger, or something you’ve always had a passion for? Not only will it mean that you’re doing an activity that contributes to your wellbeing and health, but you’ll also bring up all those great memories, with plenty of fun too, not to mention the fact that your choices will remain healthy ones.

The best thing about getting back into your favorite pastime as an adult is that the whole thing can be on your terms, without any pressure from an authority figure. Therefore, you can do it as often, or little as you feel, and you can invest in all the gear, or non at all, depending on what it is that you plan to do. Why not get your friends involved? It might just be the right time to get that sports team up and running again; the perfect excuse to go for a beer afterward on a Saturday. Whatever it is you remember enjoying when you were younger; there’s no harm in looking into your options, and finding some time outside of work to have some fun. The following are some ideas and inspiration for those who are ready to enrich their life and never look back.

Time To Yourself

If the thought of seeing even more faces, in a noisy space in your rare peaceful moments does not appeal; it might be time to take up a quieter, solo hobby. Whether it’s a certain computer game, mechanics, or carpentry on an adult scale; it will allow you to properly switch off, and will be a chance to reset your mind after a busy week (or month). The important thing is to make sure that you love whatever you’re doing in your spare time, and if it does you good; keep doing it. Staying clear of self-medicating, with drugs or alcohol (especially alone) is something to be mindful of; just check out the Moorhead Law Group and their list of life sentence cases, for even more motivation to steer clear of marijuana during those moments alone. Reading up on something that interests you, going through your comic collection, or, collecting even more, or making the most of your favorite destinations on the internet (oh hey there), are all great ways to spend solo time, and unwind.

A Fitness And Wellbeing Boost

If you’re feeling that you’re growing a little tired and bored of the same old routine, it’s time to mix it up and add something fresh, workout wise. Get some fresh air and run around your local park, or set yourself a goal to improve the time it takes to run around a certain area of your neighborhood or town. Learning a completely new skill will improve your mental focus and your fitness abilities. You could try training in mixed martial arts, which will give you a whole new scene to focus on, and smash any plateau you may have found yourself coasting along. Martial arts such as karate, kickboxing, and judo, might be other avenues you want to look into. See if your gym holds any classes, or if there are any experts about that can give you the right advice on incorporating it into your regime. Exercise is a great “free-time” option, and can be catered for those who need alone time, or those who want to hang out with others.

A Team Effort

Another option is to get your buddies together to have some fun regularly. Therefore, it’s time to think about all the things that you loved doing as kids, especially if it means bringing together a team every weekend. Invest in a hoop for your driveway so that you can practice together before heading to take on another team; you can do all the extras that you wanted to as a kid. If you’re unsure about spending any cash, or it’s a challenge to wrangle everyone up at the same time; sign up to a local sports team. Everyone there will already have a common interest, and it could be the start of new friendships.

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Get Your Life Back on Track When You Slip Up

Everyone has times in their life when they slip up. When you’ve made a mistake, it can be hard to get past the guilt and the disappointment in yourself. It could be the result of a longer period of things going wrong, or might be the start of one. But even though it can feel like nothing will be right again, it’s possible to fix things and get your life back on track. You just need to have the will and the determination to sort yourself out and try to get back to normal. Take a look at some of the things you could do to fix things.

Make Reparations

Making up for a mistake or for your life going off the rails can take time. It’s often a multi-step process, but there are some things that you can probably do right away. Start by taking steps to repair any damage that you can take care of immediately. If you’ve hurt someone, apologize to them. There might be occasions when the steps you need to take include seeking professional help, like completing a three day driver intervention program. These initial steps might not fix everything. It could just be the start of your journey.”

Create a Plan

Once you’ve carried out some initial damage control and owned up to your mistakes, you could come up with a plan to make further changes. First, it’s a good idea to decide just what your goals are. How are you going to avoid making the same mistakes again? What behaviors do you need to change to make sure you don’t keep falling into the same patterns? You should choose some things that you want to aim for and perhaps try to set a timeline too. You might have some goals relating to your behavior and habits, or maybe you want to do something like go back to school.

Make Time for Good Habits

Carrying out good habits helps to keep your life in order. But if you don’t make the time to do them, it’s easy just not to bother. When you’re trying to squeeze things into your day without scheduling them, you can tell yourself that there’s no time and that you’re too busy with other things. However, if you schedule what you want to do into your days, it can help you to stick to your goals. You’ll find that you really do have the time to do the things you want if you get your priorities right.

Have Someone to Hold You Accountable

Having someone who will hold you accountable if you mess up or don’t follow through on your promises can be very helpful. It’s not exactly their job to make you do anything, but it’s useful to know that someone is counting on you to do the right thing. Knowing that they will be disappointed and might enact some consequences if you don’t keep your promises can spur you on.

If your life hasn’t been going the way that you want it to, only you can change it. It’s up to you to get back on track to where you want to be.

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Nobody Needs To Live In An Unhappy Relationship

A relationship should result in a happier version of ourselves. Some people believe that having the right person in their lives will automatically make them happier, but we all make mistakes in this department. But, rather than admit we’ve made the mistake, we tend to stick it out, and try to make the relationship work. Of course, tenacity and resilience are essential to any relationship, but there is a point where it’s a lost cause, and it’s got to the point where you feel stuck or unhappy. What are the reasons, and what can you do to break free?

A Hard Habit To Break…

We’ve got to the point where it’s not just about the two of us anymore; there may be pets, mortgages, debts, and children. As such, we feel our individual priorities slip down the pecking order. We make sure that everything else is catered for, often to the detriment of our happiness. It can feel like a house of cards, you take one of the essential ones out, and everything will collapse, and a lot of us don’t like the idea of being saddled with this guilt. This is completely understandable.

Making Excuses For Them

We can find ourselves overlooking certain characteristics of the other person that, not only we find upsetting, but other people have noticed too. The big problem with this is that once these issues are left to fester, they can get worse. Something small could soon develop into something far worse, such as abuse. When we encounter abuse, either physical or emotional, we tend to justify it in one way or another. But, when it gets to the point that these justifications happen all too much, and other people feel they have to interject, it’s time to take action.

Severing The Ties

Because of the life you have built together, as well as responsibilities, you could find it incredibly difficult to sever the ties. But if it gets to the point where you are perennially unhappy, and you wake up and realize that the person you are now is not the person you want to be, then you deserve to be the person you once were. Contacting the police, or a battery defense lawyer is extreme, but if you are fearful for your safety, then you need protecting. Likewise, even if you feel you’ve been emotionally undermined all this time, the other person may not even see it, in which case, confronting them and/or leaving them will possibly make them realize the errors of their ways. Of course, these people swear they will change, but we all know deep down that this is seldom the case.

We can get tangled in these webs, and when it comes to decluttering your life, you may realize that a relationship is not just about you serving the other person. It can get to the point where we feel perennially unhappy in this construct, and the fact of the matter is, we don’t need a relationship to make us happy. Nobody needs to live in an unhappy relationship.

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Date Night Appetite, Because Writing & Eating are Fun

Just over a year ago, Rachael and I decided that we’d like to combine our love of escaping the house sans-children with our love of writing. Being fans of fine food and environments that enable us to focus on each other during rare, precious date nights, we thought it might be fun to share our experiences in Asheville with other couples who might be looking for a great spot to escape to, if only for an hour, or if for a whole evening. Plus, it would be a team effort that would allow us to collaborate on something we both love: writing and geeking out.

Thus, Date Night Appetite was born and officially launched back in September. To date, we’ve reviewed four local spots, but we also have some Instagram and Facebook posts to help share smaller delights that we find between date nights.

Check it out, and help add your ratings to what we have posted. And let us know if you have any questions or suggestions!

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Writing for Listverse is a Waste of Your Time

Listverse is often a recommended website for people who wish to make a little extra cash. They make it sound like it is fun and easy to “Write & Get Paid.”

I’m here to urge you not to waste your time.

The Listverse deal seems rather straightforward at first: come up with a list of things that are quirky and unique, write at least 1200 words about them, cite your sources, then submit them for review. If approved, they send you $100 via Paypal. I thought this sounded like a fun way to make $100 by writing about topics I know and am interested in.

One thing you have to do before writing a list is to make sure they don’t already have a list about the topic you want to write about. Searching their site for existing lists is futile, as their Search feature doesn’t seem to work at all. See the example below, where I searched for a list about vampires that is shown on their home page, and even it doesn’t come up in a search result:


This leaves you with having to use Google to query the Listverse site in an attempt to make sure you don’t waste your time writing a list that is already there:


Once you think you have a good idea for a list topic, it’s a good idea to read about the Listverse guidelines on what they expect and what the rules of engagement are. Here is how they summarize it:

It works like this: You write your list (10 items per list minimum), you send it in, we reply and say “Great—we’ll publish it” and send you $100 by PayPal (don’t have an account? just make one—it’s easy and free); or we reply and say “Sorry—it isn’t the sort of thing our readers will love—give it another shot.” Just remember, your list should be at least one or two paragraphs per entry.

There is also a more detailed Author Guide that gets into writing style and some more about the rules and what they expect.

The other major caveat is not to write about something in their short list of topics that they are currently not taking submissions for, which are sports, self-help, personal stories, and gaming.

Sounds pretty easy, right?

I dove in and spent about two hours researching topics, writing up a list, proofing it, finding sources for it, then attempting to submit it. Their submission page says, “We only consider submissions with the highest standard of English and submissions should not exceed 1,500 words.”

No problem. I love writing and have what I consider a good mastery of the English language. My article was about 1000 words, so I thought it was ready to go.

First Problem

Only at this point do you learn that lists must be at least 1500 words. Wait…what? Above, on the Submission page, it says that the article “should not exceed 1500 words”. But if you click Submit List, and your article isn’t long enough, you see this:


They don’t tell you this anywhere on the submission page until you click the Submit button. And this situation makes it seem like you are set up for failure from the start. So, in one place it says no more than 1500 words, then you are scolded about not having at least 1500 words when you try to submit. What to do?

I went back and added more meat to my list, getting it to the minimum length required, and was finally allowed to proceed. The resulting page and the resulting confirmation email I got told me that it would be up to two weeks before hearing from them. Apparently they read every entry they get, and it is time consuming. I am a patient man, so I was OK with this.

Problem Two: Rejection

I got the rejection letter this morning. I understand not getting accepted for legitimate reasons; it was more about the issues surrounding it that led me to writing this lengthy blog post.

First, the rejection letter itself was not the “highest standard of English,” which was amusing more than anything, but I thought I’d point it out. For example, it said this:

“We regret that your list is just not quite what we are looking for right now; this is usually because your subject matter is outside the scope of the direction in which we are taking Listverse.”

Taking Listverse? Ok, whatever. Moving along…

Second, they go on to list out some of the same caveats about submitting a list, but only this time is it in more detail than before you actually write your list:

We are currently not taking any lists from the following categories: self-help, opinion, product rankings or reviews, money making guides, personal experience stories, health advice, gaming, sports, music, TV, movies, and animals.

My list was not in any of those categories, but I did stop to think that many of these had not been mentioned up front, and I’d have been pissed if I had spent a lot of time on a list about animals, for example.

They went on to list some “technical” reasons for rejection:

1. The list is too short, too long, or does not have ten items
2. The list requires too much editing (poor English or lack of proofing is usually the reason)
3. The topic is already covered on Listverse or the Internet in general
4. The topic is simply not in keeping with the style of content we publish

Regarding 1, I had exactly 10 items on my list. Was I rejected because the list was over 1500 words long, even though I was unable to submit a list unless it was 1500 words long? That seems stupid.

I knew my rejection wasn’t due to numbers 2, 3, or 4, as I had researched everything, proofed it all, and come up with something rather unique to write about, and made it appealing to the type of audience they cater to.

The Final Knockdown: It’s an odds game

Being rather bewildered at the reasons for rejection not lining up with my article, and still not understanding why my submission was not taken, I carefully re-read the rejection email and I found this sentence in the middle:

We receive more than 150 submissions each day and can only choose three for publication.

Only now, after spending all this time writing a list, researching it, proofing it, and waiting on the outcome, did they choose to mention that 3 per day is the limit. The odds sure would have been helpful to know up front, way before any of this ever happened.

But then, why would anyone ever choose to write a list and submit it if they knew the odds, right?

I will not be wasting any more of my time on Listverse, and I urge you not to, either!


Note: I will publish my list here soon. Since they rejected it, I retained rights to it 🙂