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5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem

Published by Marie Miguel on 2/1/2019

We tend to be our own worst critics; we judge and put ourselves down for not meeting a certain standard or expectation either social media or society demands that we live up to or is self-imposed. Sometimes this can go on for years, particularly after a traumatic event, and the struggle of learning to rebuild one’s self-esteem becomes ever more challenging.

Having a healthy self-esteem is about having a compassionate, loving and realistic approach to oneself and it is vital if you want to have a happy and healthy life. Here are ways you can boost your self-esteem and increase your feelings of self-worth:

1. Remember that you are not defined by what happened to you.

It is important that you do not place your identity or define yourself by what was done or said to you. Your self-worth should not be tied to a particular person or event as this false connection only results in feelings of shame and unworthiness. You are not what happened to you; you are not what they say you are. You get to control what you believe about yourself; you get to control your destiny.

2. Be mindful of your thoughts.

One of the first steps to improving your self-esteem is being aware of the negative thoughts going through your head and learning to distance yourself from them. By identifying with them less, you will be able to see your thoughts as just that — thoughts — and not facts or truths that are meant to be believed. Every time you find yourself talking negatively about yourself, simply observe them and remind yourself that they are not facts. If this becomes a persistent problem and you are struggling to disengage with your negative self-talk, consider getting professional help from a therapist or seeking invaluable advice from trusted sources like BetterHelp.

3. Change the way you talk to yourself.

Repeat positive affirmations to yourself, about yourself, everyday; this has shown to decrease symptoms of depression. Start by listing all the things you love about yourself, such as your body shape or that you’re a trustworthy person. Then, list all the things you are good at, such as being a present listener or a reliable planner. The next time negative self-talk arises, look back on your list and remind yourself of at least two things you love about yourself and at least two things you are good at.

4. Accept your strengths and weaknesses.

Someone may be an amazing cook but a terrible reader, but neither of those things define that person’s worth. We all have things we are good at and bad at, and when you choose to focus on your strengths and be more forgiving of your shortcomings, you will gain a more coherent, realistic and compassionate perspective of yourself. If you have trouble identifying your gifts and talents, ask your friends and family — sometimes they see the best in you more than you do yourself.

5. Take good care of yourself.

Invest in forms of self-care as poor health habits significantly affects your mental health in a negative way and leads to a greater devaluation of oneself. Exercise has proven to increase self-esteem, improve mental health and empowers not only the mind but the body; getting sufficient sleep every night helps you think more clearly and rationally; a balanced and nutritious diet also has positive effects on self-perception.

Remember that you are worthy and you are enough. You do not need to do or be anything to be valuable. You deserve respect and love, no matter who has told you otherwise. And with self-compassion and self-care, destructive thoughts can be dismantled and your self-worth can be alive and thriving again.

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Marie Miguel

Contributor

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with
mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

    Supporting A Friend After An Accident

    Published by Will Chatham on 10/29/2018

    One of the most difficult things that anyone can go through, is seeing a friend – a close friend – at a loss. After an accident, the shock can make it hard for your friend to tell you what they need. It’s okay, though, because you should already know your friend enough to step up and take control where they can’t. An accident is shocking. It’s hard to know what move to make first, but don’t panic. Below, we’ve got some of the best ways that you can confidently be there for a friend after they go through the horror of an accident.

    Keep Them Mobile.

    Depending on the severity of their injuries, you need to keep them mobile. This doesn’t necessarily need to get them on their feet, but it does mean getting them to and from appointments. This means taking them to the doctor for their follow-up appointments after their injuries, to the supermarket to get their essentials, and even to The Law Offices of Emroch & Kilduff, LLP so that they can discuss any injury claims after their accident. Your friend needs the extra ear to listen to their trauma, talk them through things that aren’t even related to their accident and to provide humour and support post-accident.

    Important Documentation

    As well as travelling to appointments and being a listening ear, your friend may be too injured, too shocked or just too traumatised to cope with the paperwork and keep on track of their documents. Insurance needs to be dealt with, healthcare documents need to be dealt with and helping them to put together a document folder could be a huge weight off their shoulders. Organisation at a time where they are not able to be organised for themselves can make a huge difference in their recovery.

    Logical Steps.

    When your friend has gone through such a trauma, it’s hard for them to think straight about what should be next in life. Remind them about their appointments and their insurance. Remind them to talk to their employer about going to work – or not, as the case may be. Provide them with steps to take to get life back to as normal as possible.

    Bring Food!

    No one wants to cope with the basics of cooking and taking care of themselves when they have had an accident. Life doesn’t stop, but their life has, even for a while. Batch cook some meals or pay for takeout for a few days; you need to help them to eliminate the simple stuff so that they can focus on the harder things. A meal doesn’t just keep them happy and fed, it means that you really do care about their recovery.

    Caring for a friend after an accident isn’t easy, but you need to be there for them to lean on as much as possible. They’ve gone through the trauma, and they need you now more than ever. Let them lean and let them use your listening ear. The kindness you show now will matter more than ever before.

    A Strong Sense Of Self: Getting Back To Loving Your Free Time More

    Published by Will Chatham on 10/22/2018

    It can be easy to get swept up in your work and family life; before you know it, you’re stuck in a routine, and any free time you find, is used to relax. If you’re in the midst of a hectic lifestyle, you might think that the last thing you want to do is more activities. However, a hobby or a pastime that you enjoy is the perfect way to blow off some steam, alleviate some stress, and refocus your mind for an hour or so on a regular basis. And, what better hobby to take up than something you enjoyed when you were younger, or something you’ve always had a passion for? Not only will it mean that you’re doing an activity that contributes to your wellbeing and health, but you’ll also bring up all those great memories, with plenty of fun too, not to mention the fact that your choices will remain healthy ones.

    The best thing about getting back into your favorite pastime as an adult is that the whole thing can be on your terms, without any pressure from an authority figure. Therefore, you can do it as often, or little as you feel, and you can invest in all the gear, or non at all, depending on what it is that you plan to do. Why not get your friends involved? It might just be the right time to get that sports team up and running again; the perfect excuse to go for a beer afterward on a Saturday. Whatever it is you remember enjoying when you were younger; there’s no harm in looking into your options, and finding some time outside of work to have some fun. The following are some ideas and inspiration for those who are ready to enrich their life and never look back.

    Time To Yourself

    If the thought of seeing even more faces, in a noisy space in your rare peaceful moments does not appeal; it might be time to take up a quieter, solo hobby. Whether it’s a certain computer game, mechanics, or carpentry on an adult scale; it will allow you to properly switch off, and will be a chance to reset your mind after a busy week (or month). The important thing is to make sure that you love whatever you’re doing in your spare time, and if it does you good; keep doing it. Staying clear of self-medicating, with drugs or alcohol (especially alone) is something to be mindful of; just check out the Moorhead Law Group and their list of life sentence cases, for even more motivation to steer clear of marijuana during those moments alone. Reading up on something that interests you, going through your comic collection, or, collecting even more, or making the most of your favorite destinations on the internet (oh hey there), are all great ways to spend solo time, and unwind.

    A Fitness And Wellbeing Boost

    If you’re feeling that you’re growing a little tired and bored of the same old routine, it’s time to mix it up and add something fresh, workout wise. Get some fresh air and run around your local park, or set yourself a goal to improve the time it takes to run around a certain area of your neighborhood or town. Learning a completely new skill will improve your mental focus and your fitness abilities. You could try training in mixed martial arts, which will give you a whole new scene to focus on, and smash any plateau you may have found yourself coasting along. Martial arts such as karate, kickboxing, and judo, might be other avenues you want to look into. See if your gym holds any classes, or if there are any experts about that can give you the right advice on incorporating it into your regime. Exercise is a great “free-time” option, and can be catered for those who need alone time, or those who want to hang out with others.

    A Team Effort

    Another option is to get your buddies together to have some fun regularly. Therefore, it’s time to think about all the things that you loved doing as kids, especially if it means bringing together a team every weekend. Invest in a hoop for your driveway so that you can practice together before heading to take on another team; you can do all the extras that you wanted to as a kid. If you’re unsure about spending any cash, or it’s a challenge to wrangle everyone up at the same time; sign up to a local sports team. Everyone there will already have a common interest, and it could be the start of new friendships.

    Get Your Life Back on Track When You Slip Up

    Published by Will Chatham on 10/19/2018

    Everyone has times in their life when they slip up. When you’ve made a mistake, it can be hard to get past the guilt and the disappointment in yourself. It could be the result of a longer period of things going wrong, or might be the start of one. But even though it can feel like nothing will be right again, it’s possible to fix things and get your life back on track. You just need to have the will and the determination to sort yourself out and try to get back to normal. Take a look at some of the things you could do to fix things.

    Make Reparations

    Making up for a mistake or for your life going off the rails can take time. It’s often a multi-step process, but there are some things that you can probably do right away. Start by taking steps to repair any damage that you can take care of immediately. If you’ve hurt someone, apologize to them. There might be occasions when the steps you need to take include seeking professional help, like completing a three day driver intervention program. These initial steps might not fix everything. It could just be the start of your journey.”

    Create a Plan

    Once you’ve carried out some initial damage control and owned up to your mistakes, you could come up with a plan to make further changes. First, it’s a good idea to decide just what your goals are. How are you going to avoid making the same mistakes again? What behaviors do you need to change to make sure you don’t keep falling into the same patterns? You should choose some things that you want to aim for and perhaps try to set a timeline too. You might have some goals relating to your behavior and habits, or maybe you want to do something like go back to school.

    Make Time for Good Habits

    Carrying out good habits helps to keep your life in order. But if you don’t make the time to do them, it’s easy just not to bother. When you’re trying to squeeze things into your day without scheduling them, you can tell yourself that there’s no time and that you’re too busy with other things. However, if you schedule what you want to do into your days, it can help you to stick to your goals. You’ll find that you really do have the time to do the things you want if you get your priorities right.

    Have Someone to Hold You Accountable

    Having someone who will hold you accountable if you mess up or don’t follow through on your promises can be very helpful. It’s not exactly their job to make you do anything, but it’s useful to know that someone is counting on you to do the right thing. Knowing that they will be disappointed and might enact some consequences if you don’t keep your promises can spur you on.

    If your life hasn’t been going the way that you want it to, only you can change it. It’s up to you to get back on track to where you want to be.

    Nobody Needs To Live In An Unhappy Relationship

    Published by Will Chatham on 8/3/2018

    A relationship should result in a happier version of ourselves. Some people believe that having the right person in their lives will automatically make them happier, but we all make mistakes in this department from time to time. But, rather than admit we’ve made the mistake, we tend to stick it out, and try to make the relationship work. Of course, tenacity and resilience are essential to any relationship, and some guys even try to make it better by sending her good morning texts but there is a point where it’s a lost cause, and it’s got to the point where you feel stuck or unhappy. What are the reasons, and what can you do to break free?

    A Hard Habit To Break…

    We’ve got to the point where it’s not just about the two of us anymore; there may be pets, mortgages, debts, and children. As such, we feel our individual priorities slip down the pecking order. We make sure that everything else is catered for, often to the detriment of our happiness. It can feel like a house of cards, you take one of the essential ones out, and everything will collapse, and a lot of us don’t like the idea of being saddled with this guilt. This is completely understandable.

    Making Excuses For Them

    We can find ourselves overlooking certain characteristics of the other person that, not only we find upsetting, but other people have noticed too. The big problem with this is that once these issues are left to fester, they can get worse. Something small could soon develop into something far worse, such as abuse. When we encounter abuse, either physical or emotional, we tend to justify it in one way or another. But, when it gets to the point that these justifications happen all too much, and other people feel they have to interject, it’s time to take action.

    Severing The Ties

    Because of the life you have built together, as well as responsibilities, you could find it incredibly difficult to sever the ties. But if it gets to the point where you are perennially unhappy, and you wake up and realize that the person you are now is not the person you want to be, then you deserve to be the person you once were. Contacting the police, or a battery defense lawyer is extreme, but if you are fearful for your safety, then you need protecting. Likewise, even if you feel you’ve been emotionally undermined all this time, the other person may not even see it, in which case, confronting them and/or leaving them will possibly make them realize the errors of their ways. Of course, these people swear they will change, but we all know deep down that this is seldom the case.

    We can get tangled in these webs, and when it comes to decluttering your life, you may realize that a relationship is not just about you serving the other person. It can get to the point where we feel perennially unhappy in this construct, and the fact of the matter is, we don’t need a relationship to make us happy. Nobody needs to live in an unhappy relationship.

    Date Night Appetite, Because Writing & Eating are Fun

    Published by Will Chatham on 12/20/2017

    Just over a year ago, Rachael and I decided that we’d like to combine our love of escaping the house sans-children with our love of writing. Being fans of fine food and environments that enable us to focus on each other during rare, precious date nights, we thought it might be fun to share our experiences in Asheville with other couples who might be looking for a great spot to escape to, if only for an hour, or if for a whole evening. Plus, it would be a team effort that would allow us to collaborate on something we both love: writing and geeking out.

    Thus, Date Night Appetite was born and officially launched back in September. To date, we’ve reviewed four local spots, but we also have some Instagram and Facebook posts to help share smaller delights that we find between date nights.

    Check it out, and help add your ratings to what we have posted. And let us know if you have any questions or suggestions!